Seoul Day 7: Family Day

Thursday morning we woke up to Ned asking, "Hey, today is Thursday, right? Dat means it's Kamron day!" I had long been considering the transfer of Kamron to our care and how that might play out with Ned. That morning decided to ask Lisa and Josiah to ride with us over to the SWS offices and then take Nedy out for a walk during our meeting. Thankfully they agreed!

When we arrived at the SWS offices at 11:00am, we worked out that we would meet up with Lisa, Josiah and Ned at the nearby Starbucks (how appropriate, right?) at around noon. We headed up to the 7th floor and saw Kamron's Foster Mom changing him. The social worker met us at the door and said that Kam still needed his exit physical at the clinic downstairs, and asked if we would like to see the 'Baby Reception Home'. This is where babies who are entrusted to SWS's care live for the first month or so until a Foster Family is located and approved. We were excited to see it, especially since Kam spent a few weeks here.

The number of babies there--near 40--surprised me. The social worker who accompanied us said that they are always full. She noted that single parenting in Korea is not an option for many women, as support is not available and societal pressures strongly discourage parenting out of wedlock. I asked her about domestic adoption within Korea and she responded that the attitude is generally improving, but slowly. Focus for Korean agencies is to attempt placement of children domestically for a period of 6 months before referring children for international adoption. The social worker told me about half of the children we saw would be adopted domestically.
After our visit, we headed back next door to the SWS offices. Kam was back from his physical by then. We sat down with the Foster Mother and Father and reviewed all of his care particulars we had learned a few days before. SWS gave us a written report. We were walked through the bags of things they were sending with us--his favorite toys, a mobile, several sets of clothes, his bowl and utensils, lots of bottles, 3 cans of formula, diapers, and several portions of jook (rice porridge) to take the pressure off us for his next meals. Kamron's Foster Family put a lot of effort into bringing everything they thought he might need as he transitioned to our care. We are so appreciative of that.
With tears in her eyes, Kam's Foster Mother told us, through the social worker who interpreted, that she gave him her best care and lots of love. What a wonderful family.
SWS likes to keep these transfer meetings relatively short and controlled, which makes sense given the intensity of emotion in an experience like this. After about 40 minutes, we were told it was time to go. We walked with everyone to the elevator, where I had the chance to give his Foster Mother and Father big hugs. I put on our Ergo and Kamron was transferred to me. He didn't cry, just looked at my face curiously as we were immediately shepherded into the elevator; we were told the Foster Family would stay back until we were out of sight.

Out of the elevator, we said good bye to the social worker who had escorted us down and walked down the street, me with a confused baby on my front and Dan loaded to the gills with bags of stuff. We kept waiting for the crying to start, but it didn't. "Calm before the storm", I remarked to Dan.

Down the road at Starbucks, Ned ran to greet us, "LITTLE BRUDDER!!! It's youuuuuuu!!!" She checked him out, he checked her out. And so it begins.
On the cab ride back to our hotel, Kam fell asleep. And stayed that way for hours. So we went for a walk in the park.
Afterward, we headed back to the hotel where Kam woke up and starting playing. Dan said, "Maybe he's just calm?" To which I responded, "Calm before the storm, buddy. Calm before the storm." And, as if on cue, Kam starting screaming. And I mean top-of-his-lungs, ear-piercing, painful-to-witness screams. Poor baby. But I was glad for those screams. Because he should have been be screaming and scared.

All night he screamed. We tried everything we knew to do, knowing full well that he needed time to scream and grieve and just tell us how mad he was, but as parents, even to a child you've only known for a few hours, you just want to fix their hurt. Tough times. I remember those times with Ned clearly and, in my most difficult moments that night, I thought about Ned and the love we've built since then and found much comfort, for him and me, in that.

Thankfully, there was a Korean War veteran event at our hotel and our immediate neighbor told me not to worry about the noise because he couldn't hear anyway. Pheeew. ;)

After what seemed an eternity, the morning light came. Korea is known as the 'land of morning calm', and thankfully, that was our experience Friday morning. Probably due to sheer exhaustion, but calm nonetheless. But that's another post, because someone just woke up. :)